


Making Spirits Bright

by Gothams_Only_Wolf



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Sam Wilson Feels, Sam Wilson-centric, Sam is a sad bean, Tumblr: All Caps Swap, emotional misunderstanding, schmoopy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 13:11:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8981125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothams_Only_Wolf/pseuds/Gothams_Only_Wolf
Summary: Prompt: Sam has been dating Steve for a while now. Bucky comes back and everything is flipped on its head because Steve has his first love back and Sam doesn't know where that leaves him, even though Steve swears he still loves Sam. But then one day Sam realizes he loves Bucky too. 5+1 moments of Sam thinking Bucky stole his man & the one time it turned out Bucky was trying to confess to them both all along





	

**Author's Note:**

> For shieldsandarms on Tumblr
> 
> Apologies if this came out a little darker than you wanted. I was having a rough time for a bit when I wrote this and I rarely write angst but this... suits, I'd like to think. 
> 
> Because I can't write angst without schmoop, the ending is a happy one. 
> 
> Also, very Sam-centric to make up for my other fic! 
> 
> Enjoy~

* * *

**-Loss-**

Loss was something Sam knew intimately; one could say they were friends, he and that emphemeral emotion. He'd lost his parents, he'd lost his best friend and now _this_. 

Steve was blinding—at first glance. He glowed with the rising sun, he smiled and the world around him was better for it. Sam should have known better than to think that Steve would do anything but pass him by. 

He fell for Steve, the wounded vet with a familiar look in his eyes and in his breath; the stupid self-depricatory look combined with a soft gaze. 

They went looking together for Bucky. 

Sam should have said no. But... Sam's not heartless. He strived to be better than the last version of himself. 

They started in the US, going over HYDRA-pretending-to-be-S.H.I.E.L.D. bases with a fine-toothed comb. Sam dug through years of paperwork for even a glance of the Winter Soldier, determined as he was to help Steve find Sgt. James "Bucky" Buchanan Barnes. 

By digging and uncovering tracks that ran just this side of frozen, it lead them to a safe-house in what used to be East Germany that had been stripped from S.H.I.E.L.D. records in the 80s and in massive disrepair. 

Something in Sam's gut told him to leave and vanish. 

He didn't but he might as well have fallen off the face of the earth as Steve hugged Barnes to him with a sob. 

**_Turning to give the reunited pair some space, he missed the mouthed "Thank you," from Barnes himself._ **

* * *

**-Jealousy-**

They'd shared so much on that trip. 

Sam had broken his silence about Riley, had willing spilled his heart over a campfire that barely smoked. He talked himself hoarse like he'd never done before or since. Sam had laughed and cried and had held up his heart for Steve to do with as he wished. 

Steve had taken it and wrapped Sam up in his arms as he spoke of the man Bucky Barnes had been, the hero, the reality that had made them so vital to each other. 

It had been Steve Rogers, the little guy from Brooklyn, that night and no trace of Captain America, the icon across time. He spoke of the loss of his Commandos, how few of them were left and how even fewer had looked at him with blank eyes and cataracts stealing their vision. Steve's entire body shook as he brought out the story of what-could-have-been with Margaret "Peggy" Carter and the missing dance that he never got. 

A bond was forged of shared grief of friends gone and past. 

They had something special but obviously wasn't special enough. 

Sam tended to avoid Barnes, going so far as to change his running time to later, when both Steve and Barnes were eating breakfast. They used the morning to catch up on the world they'd both missed. Sam shouldn't be jealous... Yet here he was, running at nine in the morning, cursing that Steve had his best friend and obvious lover back from the dead. 

Sam had been the rebound. _Oh joy._

It hurt because Riley was still in a pine box in bumfuck nowhere USA that gave Sam the side-eye because he was a black veteran and dropped off flowers for his dead friend once a year. 

He should call Tanya and Maharet, ask them for a post-break up ice cream night with stupidly sad movies. 

Barnes walked in with a tank-top on and shorts. The metal arm whirred softly as he climbed up onto the treadmill next to Sam. 

"Steve tells me you changed your runnin' time. You okay?" Barnes questioned softly, blue eyes a darker shade than Steve's when—No. Sam wasn't going to go down that road again. 

"I'm fine. I like to sleep in when I'm not tearing down HYDRA bases," Sam quipped dryly, the sting of Steve's betrayal lending an edge to his tone. 

"Fair enough," Barnes shrugged, broad shoulders almost the same as...

 _Get a grip, Wilson. He's not yours anymore and that's his boyfriend you're ogling. Stop that._ Sam chided himself. "Do you, uh, sleep in?" 

"No. I wake up on the couch sometimes. Steve says it's okay." Barnes sighed as Sam tugged his headphones back on and turned up the Marvin Gaye. 

**_Barnes watched him for a while longer, his expression unreadable before Barnes started up his own run._ **

* * *

**-Bitter-**

It galled Sam that they'd officially broken-up and Steve was still inviting him out on dates. 

"Look, Steve, it's nice of you to offer but take Barnes and go. I know you two have been dying to see the movie trilogy together." Sam finally snapped after the sixth or seventh 'date.' 

"Sam?" Steve's brow furrowed in what looked like confusion. 

"We broke up and now you're just rubbing it in my face that your best pal and lover is back." Sam growled as he stomped up to Steve to poke him in his ridiculous chest. "Why don't you just leave me alone and go?" 

"Is... Is that what you think this is? A pity date?" Barnes asked and the absolutely real confusion on his face was just—too much. Barnes couldn't lie to save his life, not now. 

Sam threw his hands up in the air, shouting now, "Yes!" 

He rolled up his sleeves and walked away, muttering the entire time about stupid supersoldiers and how he didn't _need_ their pity, thank you very much, that he was gonna bake his feelings into cookies and give them away to make himself feel better...

"Stevie, I don't think we're gettin' through to him." 

"Me either. Start phase two?" 

"Definitely." 

**_Sam missed the sad looks that followed his under-his-breath-rant, the way two sets of blue looked after him until he disappeared around the corner._ **

* * *

**-Acceptance-**

Sam did bake his feelings into cookies. And cake. And pie. 

By the time he was through, he was openly crying. 

He called his sisters. Sam snuffled through the sad movies and a gallon and a half of shitty soy ice cream in DC. It sucked that the good ice cream would've left his stomach in awful knots. 

"Sam? What's going on?" Maharet asked when Tanya left to get water. 

"I... I honestly don't know, Maha. I thought Steve was it. I was planning a tentative future with this guy and all he did was step on my heart and crush it." Sam explained, voice cracking at the happiness he remembered. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this romance thing, Maha. All I get is hurt." 

Maharet clucked her tongue and carded her fingers thugh Sam's longer curls. "I'll be sure to give him an earful should he come looking, Sam-a-lam." 

"Thanks," he sighed as he held onto his sister.

* * *

He worked on the team, hung out with Rhodey—the man _was_ a military hero of Sam's, after all—and went out dancing with Natasha and Maria. 

"Can I ask about the distance between you and a blond someone?" Natasha inquired lightly after Sam came back all sweaty and flopped into his seat. 

"You can. I've given up on that part of my life. It's fine. Hurts like hell, mind, but I got nothing but time to dull those memories." Sam replied after he chugged the water bottle she gave him. 

"Did you break up?" Maria questioned as she slid in next to Sam. 

"Never made it official, so why make the break up anymore public?" Sam dryly answered with a shake of his head. "Look, I get that you're friends with both of them and me. I know that you want to keep the peace. I'm tired and I'm still sore that he dropped me for Barnes but I'll get over it... One of these days." 

**_Maria and Natasha traded a worried glance as Sam went back out to forget that his ex-boyfriend was Captain America and the baggage that came with it._ **

* * *

**-Reunion-**

Barnes turned out to be alright. Sam's still veered between acceptance and outright disgruntlement some days but Barnes happened to be a steady, mostly quiet presence by his side. 

They hung out on movie nights. Barnes never left Sam without a blanket or a pillow if he wanted to sleep in on the couch. 

Barnes kept watch and handed him tea after a nightmare filled with desperate screams until his voice was raw. 

They shared coffee after a morning treadmill run, watching the sunlight crawl across the room with quiet commentary. 

"C'n I ask why you only use my last name?" Barnes murmured as he bench-pressed the bar and solid weights that matched Sam's almost exactly. 

"I don't know you, not really," Which, technically, was true. "Being informal would be weird." 

Barnes mulled it over and then asked, "What about Stevie? Why'd you change there?" 

"We were dating. He broke my heart when he went back to you," Sam kept his tone civil but his eyes told the truth. 

"He ever say it? That you two were caput?" A serious blue gaze seemed to pierce Sam's anger. 

"Didn't have to," Sam replied listlessly. 

"Didja ask?" 

"Look, Barnes, I get that he's yours. I get that you two have history longer than I've been alive for. I know when someone's not in love anymore." He shook his head and wiped down the equipment. 

"I'll let ya in on a secret; Steve and I never got anywhere. I was never brave enough to spill my feelings back then 'cause it meant a death sentence or work camp or a lifetime incarceration," Barnes confessed as he set the weight back down. "You two have something special. Don't let me come back an' ruin it. Ask Stevie." 

Sam blinked, processed this and then sat down on the floor. "So, when you and Steve were inviting me to the movies..." 

"Steve wanted to ask why you'd been... Distant with him. I wanted to get to know you. You're nice to Steve even when you're mad at him and you hang out with Natalia and Maria and Rhodey—he's been really helpful, come to think of it. You're only human." 

"I'm going to talk to Steve. JARVIS? Do you know where-?"

""Captain Rogers is heading your way, Mr. Wilson, Mr. Barnes. I would advise staying put,"" JARVIS suggested. 

"Thank you, JARVIS." Sam said. 

""You're quite welcome, sir."" 

Steve didn't look good. His cheeks had hollowed and his weight sat differently, purely from a medical standpoint. 

Sam's instinctual reaction was to stand up and reach out. Steve inhaled with a shudder and pressed his entire body against Sam's, face buried in Sam's shoulder. 

"We have to talk," Sam murmured gently as he stroked his hand up and down Steve's shaking back. "I'm going to take a shower. You're welcome to join me."

* * *

Steve helped Sam shower and dried both himself and Sam off. He slipped into a t-shirt (Sam's and it creaked dangerously) and boxers, hugging his knees to his chest as Sam dressed in sleep sweats and his favorite purple shirt. 

"Okay, so, first things first. I'm sorry," Sam apologized as he squeezed water out of his curls. 

"You're... Sam, mo mhíle grá*, you shouldn't be apologizing to me." Steve let go of his knees and shuffled across the bed to press his knee to Sam's. "You slipped through my fingers and it's my fault. I didn't pay enough attention to you; I didn't seek you out and I didn't make it a public fact that we were together. I left you hanging and completely in the dark." 

Sam's jaw dropped and he closed it with a click as Steve continued. 

"Bucky had some sleeper and trigger codes in his head. Thor had to help him get rid of them and I concentrated on getting Bucky better. I should've been concentrating on you just as much as I did on him, if not more so because you're my boyfriend... That is, if you still want to be." 

"What about Bucky approaching me?" 

"He decided that since he didn't know you from any of his experiences other than the mess in DC that you were okay. The fact that he didn't know you and you didn't know him meant that the expectations of being Bucky or Yakov or The Winter Soldier. He was just... Barnes to you. A breath of fresh air when everyone's expecting him to be a certain someone." 

Sam hummed and crawled into Steve's lap, leaning his full weight on his boyfriend. "Huh." 

"I've, uh, come up with a strategy to never let it get like this again." 

"Yeah?" Call Sam curious or a glutton for self-inflicted punishment but he wanted to listen. 

"Yeah. It starts with a whiteboard and a color for the level of communication..."

* * *

**-Epiphany-**

It crashed over Sam like a wave striking the shoreline; he was in love with Bucky _and_ Steve. 

Sam chewed at his lower lip, debating for all of ten seconds before he decided to talk to Rhodey. He looked up and asked quietly, "JARVIS, can you locate Colonel Rhodes for me?" 

""Certainly, Mr. Wilson."" The British-sounding AI responded just as quietly. ""Colonel Rhodes currently resides in his office. I have notified him that you will be there shortly, if you do not mind my saying so."" 

"That's kind of what I need, JARVIS. Thanks." 

""Though it is unnecessary to thank me, I appreciate it,"" JARVIS answered. 

"Good to know." Sam murmured absently. He walked to Rhodey's office and knocked on the door, his hands flexing helplessly. 

"Sam? JARVIS told me you'd be swinging by. Are you okay?" Rhodey ushered Sam onto the couch and poured them both warm cups of a spiced tea. 

"I... This is going to sound weird." 

"Weirder than the villain of the week that shot flowers out of a cannon?" Rhodey asked with a teasing smile. "Or is it relationship weird?" 

"The last one," Sam started chewing on his lip again, worrying at it with his teeth. "You know how Steve and I had that kerfluffle about our relationship." 

"I do. What's that got to do with why you're squirming on my office couch like you're Tony and you've managed to rip a painting Pepper bought weeks ago?" came the calm question. 

"IthinkIfellinlovewithBuckytoo." Sam blurted and then set his cup down to hide behind his hands. 

"Well now, that's new. You're sure?" Rhodey put a supportive hand on Sam's shoulder and squeezed gently. "Do you need a hug?" 

"Yes." Sam melted into Rhodey's embrace, sighing as he continued. "It... I realized just now. What am I going to do?" 

"Oh Sam," Rhodey sighed as he held Sam. 

The door slid open and—

"Sam? Stevie was wondering if you'd like to go to... Umm. Should I come back?" Bucky's gaze flicked from Sam's hold to Rhodey's still-soothing hand making light patterns against Sam's back. 

"Sam's here for a strictly platonic cuddle and bitch session," Rhodey offered with a wry tone. "Nothing more than that." 

"No, no, I know. I figured you fellas might like your privacy back." Bucky exited and Sam's shoulders slumped. 

"JARVIS, lock the door unless it's an emergency. Sam and I have a lot to talk about." Rhodey ordered plainly, his voice warm and extremely fond. "Soundproof shielding at 80%, please. We need this to be well-planned. Here's what we do..."

* * *

Armed with a strategy, Sam sought out Bucky and Steve. The snow in his hair melted as he rubbed his hands to get warm on the way to their shared floor in the elevator. 

He found them waiting in the kitchen, both of them perched on the counter like a pair of over-sized cats. 

The flowers were still fresh as the multi-colored riot of petals and leaves dripped melted snow. 

"Those are really nice. Let me get vases." Bucky hopped off the counter and snagged two vases. "Did you get them 'cause they were pretty?" 

"They've got meaning," Sam countered with a tender smile. "That one is yours and that one is Steve's." 

Bucky walked out as Steve rubbed a soft petal between his fingertips; he walked back in not five minutes later, carrying a book written in a language Sam didn't know. 

"We'll figure them out. You c'n go get comfy." Bucky called over his shoulder as he cracked open the book. 

Sam shed his layers and dried off as best as he could, shuffling into the kitchen to see Steve and Bucky looking at him with twin expressions of confusion. 

"What are these for?" Steve broke first as he caressed the edge of the ivy and straw binding his bouquet together**. 

"Reaffirming my love for you, Steve... and offering part of myself to Bucky." Sam said as he held out his hands. 

Steve took one and Bucky did too, both of them trading a glance before tugging Sam under the mistletoe that he'd passed twice. Steve tilted his chin up and kissed him so hard he saw stars. Bucky practically purred as they separated and drew Sam into a kiss that left him gasping. 

"Sam, would you like to be my boyfriend?" Bucky teased as he stroked his thumb across Sam's cheekbone. 

"Yeah," he breathed. 

Steve hummed softly as he pecked Sam's forehead. "I don't think I'll mind sharing. Sure you can't read minds, Sam?" 

"No," he laughed as they both picked him up and carried him into the bedroom. "Just following my heart."

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, complain, ect. 
> 
> *my dearest love/my sweetheart 
> 
> ** Each bouquet was specifically tailored to Steve and Bucky; 
> 
> Bucky's + their meanings: 
> 
> Cabbage Rose - ambassador of love  
> Gooseberry - anticipation  
> Gilly flower - bonds of affection  
> Motherwort - concealed love  
> Red Tulip - declaration of love  
> Wallflower - fidelity in adversity  
> Cape Jasmine - I am too happy  
> Hazel - peace  
> Ivy - fidelity  
> Straw - union 
> 
> Steve's + their meaning: 
> 
> Red Tulips - declaration of love  
> Cape Jasmine - I am too happy  
> Honeysuckle - bonds of love/devoted affection  
> Wallflower - fidelity in adversity  
> Mugwort - happiness  
> Hawthorn - hope  
> Mint - virtue  
> Holly - domestic happiness  
> Ivy - fidelity  
> Straw - union


End file.
